The Shadow Of A Fire
by hidden armadillo
Summary: She had somehow entangled herself in a twisted nest of lies, secrets and betrayal, and all for what? The promise of love. And it was beautiful, and they were so perfectly happy. But life wasn’t that simple, for his love had also been promised to another.


Lily Potter eyed her reflection in the mirror critically as she applied her favourite lipstick, and as the colour stained her lips she attempted to summon a semblance of the old confidence that used to come so easily to her.

A frown creased her pale forehead as the face reflected on the glassy surface remained broken, hurt, and messy.

"Damn it all!" she cried in frustration, hurling the lipstick at the mirror in a fit of anger.

She had always been famous for her temper, but these days she was usually too deep in misery to indulge in rage of any form.

Tears threatened to escape their prison behind her eyes, but she forced them back behind a veil of feigned calm that she was sure would collapse at any moment and unleash the pain within.

But she could not break down. Not now. Not when she would be seeing _him_ again.

She pushed the strands of fiery hair behind her ears and memories washed over her willing mind, inviting her to escape inside an echo of a happier time.

"_Lily!" a voice called out from across the grassy paddock._

_She turned back as she ran, her vibrant hair whipping about her head in the breeze._

"_Hurry up!" she called happily to the boy who chased her. _

"_Lily! Slow down!"_

_But she simply giggled sweetly and ran faster, the yellow dress streaming out behind her like a flag allowing him to keep her ethereal form in sight. _

_She didn't stop until she reached the shady bank of the river, where she finally collapsed gracefully in a pool of yellow fabric and swirling red hair. _

"_Lily!" the boy panted, falling to the ground beside her, "Why did you have to run?"_

_A glowing smile shone on her face as she leaned backwards into the sunlight._

"_Because I love to run, you know that. The wind blowing through my hair, the whole world spread out before me…" she trailed off with a blissful sigh of utter satisfaction._

_The boy couldn't help but smile in return; he had never been able to resist the joy she seemed to radiate from within. _

"_Your hair looks like its alive…" he murmured, unable to stop himself from reaching out to stroke it, "almost like your head is aflame…" _

_Lily giggled and rolled over, so that her face was only inches from his. _

"_Sometimes you talk nonsense, you know?" she laughed quietly._

"_Only when I'm around you…" he whispered._

A terrible ache took root somewhere in Lily's heart as her constant craving for those times of pure joy intensified tenfold.

But her world was nothing like that now.

Everything had changed.

She had somehow entangled herself in a twisted nest of lies, secrets and betrayal, and all for what?

The promise of love.

And it was beautiful, and they were so perfectly happy.

But life wasn't that simple, for his love had also been promised to another.

"_Lily," he hissed urgently, tugging at her arm and yanking her out of the crowd into a dark alley._

"_What?" she demanded anxiously, scanning the crowd from the safety of the shadows to ensure that her disappearance had not been noticed. _

"_I've missed you," he sighed, pulling her into a hug that conveyed his desperation and sorrow._

_Lily stiffened, knowing it was wrong, fighting back her desire to hug him just as fiercely._

"_What's wrong?" he pulled back, confused at her distance._

"_This is! You know it is!" she cried in frustration, unable to keep her emotions in check any longer._

_Lily threw herself into his strong arms and let the tears consume her._

"_I feel awful…" she whispered into his chest._

"_I know, I do too…But I don't know what to do…I can't leave Victoire without hurting her, hurting your whole family…But I can't let you go, I need you…I love you."_

_She could feel the pain emanating from him; she could hear it in his broken voice. _

_In two days, he would be a married man._

Lily fought to keep the old wounds from opening as the memories renewed the pain, but it was futile. She fell backwards into a chair and curled up into a ball, bracing herself for the memory she knew she couldn't escape; the memory she relived every day.

The worst moments of her life.

_Lily sat stiffly in the wooden chair, trying to hold herself together as the ceremony proceeded around her._

"_Do you, Victoire Weasley, take Teddy Lupin to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"_

_The smile on Victoire's face nearly tore Lily's heart to pieces. That should have been her._

"_I do."_

_The joyful word echoed out over the heads of the crowd, and Lily shrank back unconsciously._

"_And do you, Teddy Lupin, take Victoire Weasley to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do you part?"_

_The silence that followed these words seemed interminable. It swallowed Lily up in a cloud of irrepressible hope that he would not say those two small words that signalled the end of her world. _

_But Teddy opened his mouth, and without even looking at Lily one last time, he spoke._

"_I do."_

Tears cascaded in unstoppable torrents down her once rosy cheeks, and her fragile body rocked weakly in the chair as the pain washed over her mind and blacked out the world.

A minute, an hour, a lifetime passed in that chair before Lily managed to force the memories back into a secluded corner of her mind where the pain they caused was bearable.

She struggled out of the chair's comforting embrace and staggered unsteadily back to the mirror, but only had time for a quick scrutinising glance at her newly dishevelled appearance before a knock at the door signalled the arrival of her cousin.

"Dom," she smiled through the tears.

"Oh, Lily…" Dom frowned, knowing exactly why her cousin looked so miserable; she had been her only confidante throughout the ordeal.

Dom swept Lily up in a supportive hug, willing that some of her strength could be passed on to her fragile cousin.

"Come on, let's get you all dressed up. We'll show him what a fool he was to let go of you, okay?"

Lily nodded weakly, and allowed Dom to attack her with a whirl of beauty products and colourful clothes.

"My work is done," Dom declared, stepping away from Lily.

"Thank you," Lily whispered, not knowing how to express the level of gratitude she felt towards her cousin.

Dom just smiled.

Lily clutched Dom's hand tightly as they entered the party, and was instantly engulfed in a huddle of relatives who all seemed convinced that she had cut her hair, lost weight or grown taller.

Personally Lily was sure the only reason they thought she had changed was because she had lately become rather reclusive and therefore they hadn't seen her in quite a while, but the unwelcome and brutally honest voice in her head couldn't resist reminding her that misery and heartbreak generally did have adverse effects on people.

The thought of her state of mind inevitably reminded her of _him_, which caused her to falter in her nineteenth protestation that she hadn't changed. Dom squeezed Lily's hand in support, and she forced herself to return to the conversation.

"…I'm exactly the same as I was at Christmas, you must be imagining it."

"I don't believe that one bit, but you do look lovely. The Harpies are doing very well this year, you must be so proud to be a part of them!"

This mention of Quidditch initiated an intense discussion on the virtues of each team and their chances of winning the Cup, allowing Lily to slip away.

Unfortunately, as she turned her back on the Quidditch-crazed segment of her extended family, Lily's eyes rested on the sight that she simultaneously dreaded and desired in equal measures.

He was there, standing by the kitchen door.

Teddy.

_Teddy Lupin_.

As Lily fervently begged herself to remain sane and not faint, he looked directly at her.

_Please don't come over, please don't come over._

But Teddy had never done what she wished, she remembered bitterly.

He began to walk towards her.

One step closer.

Two.

The old feelings seeped into the corners of her mind, tempting her to surrender to them, to leap into his strong arms, to hold him once again.

Lily fought furiously to push the feelings away; knowing she would only end up hurting even worse, knowing she wouldn't be able to handle losing him again, but the feelings grew stronger with every inch closer he came.

Suddenly, he was standing before her, whispering her name.

_Oh, Merlin…_


End file.
